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Freakery

by Cretin

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1.
There was a bitter woman with a farm near the woods She kidnapped babies raised them crazy robbed their childhood Penned in chicken coups like filthy animals The woman kept her feral kids in a human kennel Children running around Chasing birds like geeks Growling, howling, carrying on They never learned to speak The children's brains were wrong but still they had to try Escape had always stumped them the fence was very high A monkey-boy who liked to climb scaled it just in time The feral kids were punished for his daring crime Naked in the woods Monkey-boy was scared The feral kids cheered him on He wished that he was there Mom lit firecrackers, frightening them to tears Accidentally dropped the lighter angry pack drew near Biting her near death, they breathed their first free breath Then fled into the wild, no longer human pets
2.
Tazer 01:41
I have a van It's a special van It has a couch in the back So I don't have to stand I've covered the walls With egg cartons and foam Soundproofed my home So you and I can be alone I am a man I'm a frightening man I'll do things tonight You won't understand Fogging the windows With my eager breath Zapping your flesh You'll beg me for death The open van door unnerves you a bit I pounce when you walk by a gibbering miscreant I'm not wearing pants and I smell like burnt hair My tazer crackles and lights the night air I have a plan It's a secret plan I'll borrow you awhile And shock you in my van You'll writhe and squirm Spasm and twitch Fifty thousand volts Surging through you bitch I'm just a man With stun gun in hand Your nightmare won't end Until sparks fill my van I'll tazer your soft bits And giggle when you pee Then we'll drive far away And I'll set you free I know it's wrong but I find it enchanting Your body tenses and I can't stop my laughing I like to pretend that you're having fun Your grimace, a smile, lit by my stun gun
3.
I didn't want a son I got one anyway Little boys have nasty Things between their legs I'd rather have a girl A dolly I can dress My pretty little princess A transgender success Daddy's little girl Daddy's little girl Dressing him in drag He's confused and kind of sad Daddy's little girl Daddy's little girl Teaching him to be A little she and not a he I put the lipstick on his face And make him wear a dress He cries and carries on so much Mascara makes a mess We have a fashion show He models mommy's clothes Teetering in heels He learns to strut and pose I make him tuck his stuff Back between his crack He stumbles when he walks Until he gets the knack Daddy's little girl Daddy's little girl Slipping hormones in his food He blossoms into womanhood Daddy's little girl Daddy's little girl His breasts begin to swell Is he Michael or Michelle? Teased by kids at school Because I send him there With painted fingernails And lacy underwear They lift his frilly skirt And pull his ponytail Then snap his training bra And call him "faggot" He thinks I'm saving money For his college education I plan to use the money for His sex change operation I didn't want a son I got one anyway Little boys have nasty Things between their legs I'd rather have a girl A dolly I can dress My pretty little princess A transgender success Daddy's little girl Daddy's little girl Dressing him in drag He's confused and kind of sad Daddy's little girl Daddy's little girl Teaching him to be A little she and not a he I put the lipstick on his face And make him wear a dress He cries and carries on so much Mascara makes a mess We have a fashion show He models mommy's clothes Teetering in heels He learns to strut and pose I make him tuck his stuff Back between his crack He stumbles when he walks Until he gets the knack Daddy's little girl Daddy's little girl Slipping hormones in his food He blossoms into womanhood Daddy's little girl Daddy's little girl His breasts begin to swell Is he Michael or Michelle? Teased by kids at school Because I send him there With painted fingernails And lacy underwear They lift his frilly skirt And pull his ponytail Then snap his training bra And call him "faggot" He thinks I'm saving money For his college education I plan to use the money for His sex change operation
4.
Uni-Tit 00:56
Science built his single breast Saline under skin Lopsided and misshapen He can't stop fondling it Masturbates with his right hand While pawing with his left Pinch the nipple extra hard He gropes his deformed chest He is Mr. Uni-tit Surgical miscreant People point and laugh at it He's a fetishistic freak He tries on lacy undergarments Half the time he fits Mocking children throw things at His lonely, single tit He'll rub it on you as he walks by His nipple hard, just a bit Then breathe a little forlorn sigh He's Mr. Uni-tit
5.
I'm woken with a piss shower In their filthy shack I can't remember how they got me Or why I'm tied down on my back Three cretins hold me hostage And make me play their games The leader has a tiny head And rapes me everyday His friend is missing all his teeth And covers me in drool The small one makes me eat his shit And dances as I do They like to hear me beg and plead They taunt me with their nonsense speech They leave sometimes I don't know where The doorknob's just beyond my reach We play a game called "Cook the Cupcake" Where I hold food in my ass They kick me and it pops right out Junior eats it very fast Toothless scares me with a knife Then beats my ear and I pass out I softly dream of pleasant things But wake with cock inside my mouth Then one day they let me go I stumble out the door I run for miles but realize that They're really after more They chase me till I fall into A pit they've dug for me Then they play "Salty Rain" And ejaculate on me
6.
Cockfight 01:59
Cockfight Cockfight Filthy bums and lunatics Surprising people with their dicks Cockfight Cockfight Pouncing with their genitals Slapping with their testicles In the city depths Behind alley streets Lives a grotesque club Of homeless cretin freaks Stalking in the dark Without any pants Crawling through the trash They wait for those who pass Here comes someone walking by Unsuspecting normal guy Cockfighters assault the loner Ambush with their dirty boners Some scream while they hump Bruising inner thighs Some just masturbate Others hug and cry Too afraid to move Victims shut their eyes Listen to the madmen Titter, moan, and sigh Outcasts driven to seek pleasure Cockfighters are kind of clever Mixing sex with violence Cretins make perverted sense
7.
She is not calm till sheathed within Her black constrictive latex skin From head to toe no flesh exposed A Rubber Doll to fuck and pose An eyeless mask engulfs her face Her features swallowed in its tight embrace Her breathing heaves, she moans with lust I polish and buff my latex slut Custom rigs and racks built to aid her transformation She'd rather live her life as a household decoration Paranoid by freedom she prefers her fantasy To be a sexy chair or table objectified entirely She spends her days gagged, plugged, and bound Electrodes zap her hairless mound As furniture items in my home Hung upside down or packed in foam One day I had her teeth removed Replaced her lips with an inner tube Inflated, they fit extra tight She licks the rubber with delight Secure to be a latex object of utility I augment her condition with intensive surgery Sightless, she took time to discover how she'd been improved She climaxed when she realized that her arms had been removed
8.
Smearing honey on his body, waiting for the bugs He knows his habit's gotten bad, but it's too damn fun Nothing could prepare him for the way they make him feel Insects tickle, make him giggle, lapping up their meal Gets his jollies, creepy-crawlies dancing on his skin One gets food and one gets off, both are bound to win A probing fly climbs up his pee hole, then it lays some eggs Cretin shakes the critters off and shoos them all away Starts to hurt Maggots squirm Infected dick Makes him sick Creepy crawlies Cretin follies Dangerous jollies Creepy crawlies Pelvic pains and tender balls keep him up at night His swelling groin lets him know that something isn't right Clutching at his belly, too sick to want to play Reluctantly he has to send his insect friends away Baby flies burst from boils, buzzing through the air The swarming vulgar mass of bugs gives him quite a scare He throws himself into a pool of water frantically Never having learned to swim, poor bastard quickly sinks Going down Man and bug drown Holding breath Wait for death Creepy crawlies Cretin follies Dangerous jollies Creepy crawlies
9.
I own a happy midget I walk him in the yard He's tethered to a leash we don't go very far Stumpy arms and legs prancing by my side He trains so hard I promised him one day we'd go outside Oh, my proud little man somersaults and handstands Show me those silly midget tricks When I clap my hands he jumps and does a flip I tell him that it's time he shrieks and wets the floor When I attach his leash he drags me to the door We will show the people who used to laugh at you Just what a special midget can be trained to do Oh, stubby dwarven friend My companion till the end Runs just as fast as he can Don't forget to flip when I clap my hands Strutting down the street he's on his brand new leash He tries to jump on people I keep him out of reach All the people ask me why I treat him wrong I tell them they did worse then we sing our song "Happy little midget, running down the street Happy little midget, skip on stunted feet Walk my funny midget, watch him do his tricks" Then I clap my hands he jumps and does a flip
10.
Uncle Percy 01:56
Retarded Uncle Percy lives At his sister's place Her children help clean up his mess While she is away One day he hugged the family dog Tighter than he should Then dragged the dead thing by its leash Around the neighborhood Grieving in the cemetery Where they bury pets Uncle Percy yelps and barks Not understanding death He tries to cheer the children up He hates to see them cry His simple ways just make things worse Percy wonders why He plans to resurrect the pet Dig it from the ground Present them with their faithful friend Their decomposing hound He finds his way back to the grave Very late that night Digs up the dog and skins it with His rusty pocketknife Stab into the rotting beast and strip it of its pelt Double-knotting shoelace strings, he ties it to himself Dropping down onto all fours, he hopes they can pretend This naked, bloody cretin is their favorite furry friend Wearing dog skin like a mask, he lumbers through the yard He chases birds and squirrels and toys a growling, yelping tard He scratches at the children's window, hoping they will play Horrified, the children scream and scare Percy away
11.
Dirt Eater 01:41
Everyday you'll find her out there Crouched down on her knees Rain or shine she spends some time Yet her yard is full of weeds One day while watching from my window And much to my surprise I found out her dirty secret She tried so hard to hide Normal by all appearances No one would suspect The nice old woman from next door Is a filthy wretch She fingers through the soil And she picks the pebbles out Then scoops up a spoonful And pops it in her mouth Consuming clumps of earth She gobbles clots of dirt The grit and grime she eats Gets caught between her teeth Scarfing scum and mulch and muck A frantic feasting binge She stuffs her withered cheeks so full Mud dribbles down her chin She shovels gravel in her face And swallows every bit I'll bet you that it hurts like hell When she takes a shit Consuming clumps of earth She gobbles clots of dirt The grit and grime she eats Gets caught between her teeth
12.
Mannequin 01:56
An old man's at the department store But he's not shopping today Stroking mannequins with wrinkled hands He clumsily masturbates Stealing plastic arms and legs So he won't hurt real women Fulfills his need by painting seed On half-dressed mannequins The old man hugs the plastic ladies Until their wigs fall off He licks their painted heads and wonders If their silence is enough Gluing clothes to plastic skin The lonely man needs something more Semen in the discount bin Security chase him through the store Mannequin He comes to you again With penis in hand Mannequin The old man weeps in the women's section His favorite dummy's gone She was 5'9" with shapely legs And assembled in Taiwan He searches in the dumpster And finds a sea of limbs He dives into the plastic pile They finally embrace him
13.
I'm a rapist of poultry Plucked, stuffed, and cooked My recipe for love Comes from a cookbook You might call it sick But you'd be mistaken I'm fowly in love Nude beneath my apron Lovingly prepping My prizewinning game hen Tongue-kiss the neck hole Fingering her rear end Massaging in spices Culinary foreplay My bumpy-fleshed lover A finger lickin' good lay The turkey gobbles The rooster crows My glistening meat baster Swells and grows Dressing for sex with a twist Spread her thighs, I grease my fist I work the stuffing in her hole Knees buckle when I lose control I set the oven to cook real quick And push the button with my dick Lighting candles sets the mood As I prepare to fuck my food A breast or thigh Neck or wing My original or crispy Sex cuisine The scent of my lover Hangs thick in the air Through the oven window I masturbate and stare My lust overwhelms me Throw open the door Scalding my hands I mount her on the floor I plunge my cock into her meat The steaming juices feel so sweet Our fevered thrusting shakes the walls Homemade stuffing burns my balls She falls apart and cannot last I shove a drumstick up my ass Clawing at her tender breasts I cum and then I eat the rest
14.
Shambling down the roadside Cheering as he goes A manic, flailing cretin In filthy, tattered clothes Dead things are his playmates He takes them in his care Clutching limbs and tails He whips roadkill through the air He uses them in puppet shows Hung around his shack Stuffs his backpack full of fur Some bloody most are flat Tied onto his belt of rope A skirt of sun baked stink Running out of furry friends He strokes their pelts and thinks Setting makeshift traps He titters and he claps Birdies, fish, and rats Are crammed in burlap sacks He drags the critters to the street Waits for cars to pass Then throws them at the tire wells It kills them very fast Sometimes lucky animals Scurry past unharmed Cretin screams and gives up chase But catching them is hard Drags them from their dens Yanks them from their pens They bite his scabby hand He tosses them again One day running after prey A stormy winter day An orange van hits the man And breaks both of his legs He drags himself back to his fort Despite the biting pain And wraps himself in animals Roadkill that he made
15.
Dullard skipping down the street Whistling to a tuneless beat Tripping over his own feet He falls into a hole A stinking sewage hole To his mind, his simple mind His god lives here, lives right inside He smells the piss, the sulfur pit His yawning god is breathing shit Just a mundane sewage tank Cracked open and very rank Cretin thinks his god's awake Thinks he's found his home His very smelly home Make us laugh, you silly man As you worship this wretched land And shave your head like monks of old Then sacrifice things to your hole Brings it little animals Until the pit is almost full Feels the gassy brimstone pull Then he crawls inside So horrible inside Then repairmen come to fix They fill it with shovels and picks And just as cretin sees his god Heaven goes mysteriously dark
16.
Profane 01:48
From the depths Of the brain A stream of cussing I can't refrain Violent breath Mental curse Go from normal straight to terse People laugh Faces scowl Words are blue and very foul Spittle flies Chin is wet Goddamn motherfuck Tourette's They say I'm not to fucking blame I am profane but not insane Motherfucker, tit, cocksucker Shit, piss, fuck, cunt Start to talk Foot in mouth Conversation going south People wince At what is said Out come words like ass-fuck-head Little kids Learn new words I smile big but flip the bird Screaming fits Are what they get Goddamn motherfuck Tourette's They say I'm not to fucking blame I am profane but not insane Motherfucker, tit, cocksucker Shit, piss, fuck, cunt Fuck you

about

Exalting all that's perverted and aggressively imbecilic, Cretin combine blasting proto-grindcore and congenitally deformed death metal in an inbred sonic ambush. Freakery sodomizes the senses with a lo-fi grind aesthetic, and begs you to enter the strange, freakish world of Cretin!

credits

released April 18, 2006

Relapse Records
www.relapse.com
relapserecords.bandcamp.com

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Cretin San Jose, California

Formed in 1992 by guitarist and vocalist, Marissa Martinez, and bassist, Matt Widener, Cretin was the Santa Cruz Mountains' answer to the wave of death metal and grind that was infesting the scene. They spent two years with a multitude of different drummers and ultimately put the band on hold to focus on other things. ... more

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