more from
Relapse Records

How to Wreck Your Life in Three Days

from by Cretin

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

      $1 USD  or more


  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Includes unlimited streaming of Stranger via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 3 days

      $13 USD or more 


  • Pre-Order Cretin CDs, LPs, and t-shirts from Relapse Records


Fire is the great fixer. Dad taught me that. His last words were, “Boy, if you’ve got a problem, fix it with

fire.” Then the cancer took him. We never even hugged. He kept making me repeat it.

The next day, I got in a wreck. I suppose you heard this on the news. Exchanging info, I was suddenly

overwhelmed and tipped a lighter to the pool of gas beneath my car. Took care of that problem! And

when I got home, my landlord started nagging me about the rent I was behind. Problem: rent. Solution:

fire. I watched the blaze from across the street.

Day two. I hid from the cops and kept fixing problems. This alerted them more quickly. The answer to

the cop car was gasoline. Then I solved a dog that barked at me. I scorched all my hair and went to the

store to get something for my burns, but had to burn down the store instead. Sure, problems turned to

ash, but fire has a way of catching.

Today is the third day since dad died. Mom, I know he found me disappointing, and I was only looking to

say goodbye, but what did he mean—mean about the fire? I think the problem might really be me. I’m

the problem. The problem and the fixer. Problem: me. So- lution: fire. I know what he was trying to say.

“Boy, you were always a problem. Fix this with fire.”


from Stranger, released December 9, 2014



all rights reserved


Cretin San Jose, California

Formed in 1992 by guitarist and vocalist, Marissa Martinez, and bassist, Matt Widener, Cretin was the Santa Cruz Mountains' answer to the wave of death metal and grind that was infesting the scene. They spent two years with a multitude of different drummers and ultimately put the band on hold to focus on other things. ... more

contact / help

Contact Cretin

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code